Living Life

You know you're a mama/mummy/mommy when...

2010-01-18T08:18:00.003+02:00

...you rush out the door quickly.. forgetting to put concealer under those puffy eyes... you end up applying it in the car... using baby's mirror on his favourite rattle :-D

...while flipping through the channels you come across a cartoon baby jumping out of his crib ... and you gasp... Never mind that said baby is actually talking like a grown-up to a dog.. and that the dog speaks perfect English too! All you see is the baby jumped out of his crib...and you gasp :-O

...you examine and stare at your baby's poop like your life depended on it... and you even have names for the different kinds of poop!

...you walk out the elegant restaurants door... after your anniversary dinner... black coat... matching hat and gloves...one hand in hubby's hand.. the other holding baby's favourite bright, yellow, squeaky duck! And you're not the least bit embarrassed...

...you walk in downtown's streets making faces and silly noises at your chuckling, squealing baby while passerbys stare.. and again... you're not the least bit embarrassed...

...after a long, tiring and rough day...just when you think you can't take it any more... you take one look at your peaceful, sleeping baby.. and know... that you can...

Frustrated

2009-12-28T09:30:00.003+02:00

No.. I don't care what the grooms mother is wearing... or if the bride looks older than her age.... or if it would have been better to play that song while cutting the cake...
No... I don't want to listen to comments about people I don't know... and I don't want to have a closer look at her henna... and I don't care if the groom looks embarrassed...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Why are the men downstairs talking about the Western and Eastern civilizations... and the importance of asking God for forgiveness while the women here are watching a tape of I don't know who's engagement party...

Why can't I just sit with the men?!?!

Still my best friend

2009-12-25T08:23:00.002+02:00

It's amazing how distances don't make a difference to our friendship... we may not call or write for days or weeks... and we may write up to 10 short emails in one day! We may pour our hearts out and have long, serious conversations... or laugh our heads off with complete, utter nonsense...

In all... it's good to know .. that you're still my best friend ...little bro

Back... or not?

2009-12-22T08:38:00.002+02:00

I don't know if I'm going to be back here or not... I have abandoned this space for ages... it's like I moved out or something... though I haven't started another blog or anything... I don't know why I stopped writing... wait ... maybe I do... I didn't feel I had anything to add... I didn't feel I wanted to speak... it was all inside my head... till I could take it no more... and maybe that's why I'm writing again... I have been going through major changes in my life... and quite a lot of emotional issues... I think I may have even had some kind of depression ! I changed... a little... but I am trying to come back and be better... and insha Allah with His help I will... I am still "Me" deep down... though sometimes I feel as though

I am a candle, but I am out...
I am still there... but I have no light

BismIllah....

2008-09-24T00:32:00.002+02:00

With no distractions...
No TV...
No internet...
No phone...
And hubby fast asleep...
In yesterday's blackout...
I sat with my Quran and my scented candle...
Bliss...

Blessed

2008-09-10T21:52:00.002+02:00

I go from page to page... link follows link... I read... I click... I read... then I realise how blessed I am...
to have a laptop...
to have internet connection...
to be able to read...
then I turn my head to look out of the window...
and I see... blue sky... white clouds... green trees...
and I realise how blessed I am....
just to be able to see....

الحمد لله حمدا كثيرا طيبا مباركا فيه غير مكفي و لا مودع و لا مستغنى عنه ربنا

Allah be praised with an abundant beautiful blessed praise, a never-ending praise, a praise which we will never bid farewell to and an indispensable praise, He is our Lord.

What I've been up to...

2008-07-14T23:46:00.003+03:00

... and moving...

PS. You were right Safiya!

2008-03-13T01:51:00.002+02:00

As I stand praying 3esha listening to your moving voice reciting Allah's glorious words.... I can't stop my tears.... silently I weep.... I weep... for many reasons... in humbleness... in awe... the beauty of it... the words... and your voice... I weep... because I know I am going to miss you... and the state of khesoo3 you help me reach... I weep... because I pray and long deeply ... that one day ...my son ... or daughter will have this effect on somebody... I weep.... because I took this for granted...
Yet... I am glad... yes... I am glad that the change in my life has made me realise all this...

I should be asleep

2007-11-01T02:09:00.000+02:00

It's been ages... ages... I kind of miss you my dear blog...
through you I've expressed my feelings... when I could...
through you I've healed inside...
through you I've met wonderful people...
through you I've made friends... virtual ... and real...
through you I've come to learn how different yet similar people are...
through you I've learnt to accept and appreciate differences between us...
through you.... I've grown...

I'm sorry dear blog that I've abandoned you.... I'm sorry I don't drop by... I'm sorry... I may not be able to promise to write a lot... but I can promise to come by more often...

I've missed you...

I love Skype... again :-)

2007-06-10T23:59:00.000+03:00

I've said it before ... and am saying it again ... I luuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve Skype... just got off an hour and a half of chatting with parents in Libya and big bro in Saudi... and me here in Egypt...conference call ... updating, chatting, laughing and talking about just about everything from religion to cars....laughed my head off... thought... and listened.... was lovely....al7amdulilah...7amdan katheeran...

Ya Rab laka al7amd kama yanbaghi leJalal Wajhek wa 3atheem soltanek

Dr. A

2007-05-04T17:05:00.000+03:00

Yesterday, a friend from Iraq... who's actually my bro's friend... sent us an email with a link to a website he created in memory of his late father Dr. A.

Dr. A. was my dad's colleague and friend from 1991-2005 in Libya. They left in 2005 to go back to their homeland Iraq... only to discover that Dr. A had lung cancer ... for the next 2 years he bravely fought it... between Iraq and Lebanon for treatment... he died last March 29th... Allah yer7amo... God bless his soul and grant his wife and his only son A.. faith, peace, patience... Allah yehawen 3aleihom w yesabbarhom...

The site included pieces Dr. A had written... his life history... stuff his friends said and wrote about him ... and photos of him... I've always known Dr. A as this handsome, striking man... strong, outgoing and just "full of life".... most of his photos show just that... but I almost didn't recognise him in the photos taken in his last couple of years during his illness... got me thinking... again... at the things we take for granted... our health and vitality... and how it's really not in our hands...

All I can say is what A. says at the end of all his emails... that he wishes everyone good health always... "lel jamee3 dawaam else77a wel 3afeyah"

PS. "A" asked all those who visit his Dad's site to pray for him "ed3oloh belra7mah" ... and I, in turn, ask you to make a prayer for this man too...

Sub7an Allah

2007-05-01T13:02:00.000+03:00

Just wanted to practice typing a little coz I feel I'm getting pretty slow ... and I'm not sure I know where all the keys are !!! Oh. my. God ... now is that bad ?!??!?! I really wish I could type without looking at all ... I'm not that bad but I really need practice ... sub7an Allah ... I really can't take in how the human mind works and stores in this unique way ... mashAllah la qowata ella bEllah ... not looking yet typing ... how can you not say mashAllah ? Do you think that its really you who can do that ? Didn't Allah create you and your mind and fingers ... isn't He the one who made you able to do this? Who made you? Who gave you the ability to do something like that ? To be able to synchronise and use fingers and eyes at the same time .... to be able to look at something and move your fingers ... and is it just moving fingers? Why don't you look at it deeply? What does it mean to move a finger? What happens inside you so that you move a finger? What does it take you to so simply move a finger? A second? Less than a second? But what happens inside?

There are so many things we take for granted ... so many things we consider "normal" ...moving a finger... breathing... blinking... yet when you think of them you stand in awe at the creation of Allah ... Sub7aan Allah the Creator of all things...

Motivated.. or not?

2007-04-21T19:33:00.000+02:00

I thought I didn't care... and that what you said wasn't going to have any sort of negative impact on me...and that I knew why I was comin to class... and I didn't need any motivation from you... I was self motivated.. but I was wrong.. funny how words can keep repeating themselves in your head... maybe I do need motivation ... or at least ...I don't need "de-motivation" !!

I've been trying really hard... and I'm doing it with two intentions(niyyahs)...
1. To learn how to recite Quran the correct way.. so that am able to read it and feel that am doing it right almost like the Sheikhs, and get closer to Allah by doing that... and
2. To be able to teach it later on to people whose native tongue isn't Arabic... we have a lack of "mo7afezaat" here in Alex who understand English and can explain tajweed in English.. wanted to get the reward (ajr) of doing that..

So I was motivated... only had 7 classes and could already feel the improvement in myself... you even told me so by the 4th class...see?... you "motivated" me... you told me I was getting better and you could hear the difference... why did you do what you did last class then? After half the class had recited (and many hadn't learnt their part well.. and you had to repeatedly correct them)... it was my turn... you only corrected me once in one of the last Ayahs...I said it all right ..you couldn't hear any mistakes except for that tiny thing in the end... and so ... what do you say?... do you tell me first that I did a good job... that I sort of perfected my tajweed this time...no ... you go and tell me that my tone was monotonous.. and that you want more "feeling" in it.. and that it seems I don't understand what I'm saying !!!! OH-MY-GOD !! I am flabbergasted and gob-smacked!! I mean you could say that coz you want me to be even better... but you could at least have given me credit for not making mistakes!! No? Besides you're the one who told us to focus now on saying it right and that later on we'd be able to play around with our voices... FYI I only recite that way in class for you..so that you can hear all the a7kaam clearly.. when I pray it's different...

I didn't want to embarrass you in class and tell you that though... so even when the class started objecting and saying "but she has a nice voice etc"...I was like "thanks .. Jazakom Allah khayran".. but I think I know what R means... but I'm going to talk to you aside next class inshAllah... I teach, y'know.. and I've seen the difference between the performance of motivated students who've been encouraged.. and that of demotivated students who feel they'll never be good enough...

I think you've got to be more careful.. you never know how the words you choose to say may affect your students...

Ramble ramble

2007-04-07T13:26:00.000+02:00

Am supposed to quickly make the rest of lunch and then run to the office... was reading blogs instead ...but no energy to comment....gonna be late.... am going to be even later by writing this ... but for the first time in months I really feel I wanna write ... about what ... I have absolutely no idea... I haven't blogged in ages ... I wrote a couple of posts but never put them on the blog... just spilled them out onto my keyboard... never got round to posting them ...

God I love his voice ... the sheikh I used to go to pray tarawee7 with in Ramadan ... am listening to him now... I miss Ramadan .. the spirituality...the " looking for ways" to please Allah ... this constant feeling that drives you to pray and contemplate... and enjoy standing in His hands... even though I try to "renew my spirituality" every now and then ... somehow it's not like Ramadan .. maybe coz am sort of doing it alone ... not like when you see the whole city rushing to Him ... Oh I don't know ...

But al7amdulilah yesterday enjoyed myself immensely... seeing their little faces light up when I just clap... watching him concentrate on the ball like a pro... gently kicking it and not letting it touch the ground as I count...1, 2, 3 , .... and the joy and excitement in his eyes when he outdoes his last count... and you little tiny one.... you had the most amusing giggle when you found you could actually catch and throw the ball... running around... painting their little faces... blowing balloons... laughing.. oh it was wonderful... al7amdulilah...thank you S for helping me to do this.... have promised myself that am going to do this more often and not just on special occassions... just pray that I keep my promise....

Mama told me on chat yesterday that my cousin got divorced 10 days ago... we could see it comin but never really thought it would happen ... whatever that's supposed to mean... the weird thing is I get to know from Mama who's in Libya! And I'm sitting over here and I don't know ... they didn't tell me ... I could see that there was something seriously wrong the past few months... I mean I'd go to visit my aunt at any time of the day and find him there... sometimes with his kids and sometimes alone...but they wouldn't tell me anything ... his sister told me there were problems but no details .... I don't want to know details ... but I just wish I could've helped in any way... I mean by just letting them talk ... them staying together may not really have been the best idea... and maybe this divorce is for the best... but I just hope they don't have any hard feelings... which I doubt :( the thing is I was considered the "little cousin" who lives in Lala Land... where everyone's "nice" ... so they wouldn't really tell me anything... though lately my oldest cousin who's around 10 years older than me has started to feel that I've actually "grown up" !! Anyway Rabena yehawwen 3aleihom... I pray that this doesn't affect their 2 little bright boys... and that they manage to deal with it bema yordi Allah... w Rabena yeheehom w yehdeena ajma3een...

So much to say and no words... all in my head... been so for a couple of days ... a colleague at work told me am not my usual bubbly self... what's wrong? Nothing's wrong al7amdulilah ... just a lot in my head... think I need a long talk with God... will do that tonight isA...

Just checked on the rice... done... so gotta run

Things I miss these days

2006-12-08T20:01:00.000+02:00

I miss my 5 minute breaks at work when I'd get off my desk and twirl and spring around in my empty office to refresh ... wearing my almost "ballerina like" shoes and humming something to myself.. usually made up to suit my twirling...

I miss teasing little bro ... and positioning myself somewhere near a sofa ... so that when my teasing gets on his nerves ... I know I have something soft to bounce on when he pushes me so hard that I fall laughing helplessly...( of course he doesn't push me nowadays)

I miss knowing that I can walk to and from work if I want to ... or that I can take a taxi and drop off not exactly at my destination to enjoy a short brisk walk ....

I miss running up the stairs... especially at my aunts house... gotta love those stairs...

And ...I miss sujood... am not able to do that now .... I miss the feelings I used to get ... and how I'd feel so close to Him...
I think I miss that most...

2006-11-30T16:15:00.000+02:00

So since I'm sitting at home practically doing nothing other than making sure my foot isn't dangling off the chair so that it doesn't swell... I thought I might as well write something on my abandoned blog ! Actually I never meant to abondon it .... it just so happened that I got really busy (old excuse...I know ) then I just never "felt" like saying anything here.... I think I was too tired of "saying" in real life ... things have been really hectic since Ramadan started ... (alhamdulilah Ramadan was lovely though)... but there was so much to do in absolutely every part of my life ... work, family, charity work, renovating and trying to move in a new house ("trying to" coz we still haven't moved)... and suddenly getting many so called "suitors" (nothing worked out though!) etc etc... I don't think I ever talked as much in any other period of my life!! Sometimes I'd sit with mama and I'd start laughing... I'd say that I never imagined I'd actually be that "tired of talking" ... and she'd tell me "you're just like your father!!" Hehehehe... baba doesn't talk that much ... I don't think I'm really like him but maybe for a girl I may sometimes be considered the "not that talkative" type ... I dunno I don't really feel it but that's what the folks say :-)

Baba just called from Libya to ask about my ankle... my swollen ankle ... alhamdulilah no broken bones or or fractures but something like what they call torn ligaments ... alhamdulilah ... was a pretty bad fall off the stairs but was carrying clothes to give away so I fell on them and they were like cushions !!! So I just have this ankle thing that's pretty bad ... have to wear the bandage for 3 weeks inshAllah ...can go to work starting next week inshAllah ... but none of my shoes fit !!! Yikessssssss !! Only one sort of fits but it's not a shoe ya3ni it's open at the back ... will have to do with that for now !!

Now I know this sounds "cliche" but I kind of missed it around here ... I mean writing and connecting with people on the blogosphere... I'd read a little when I could ... and get to know everybody's news... but it's been a little quieter than usual I think.. with the exception of a few really "faithful" bloggers ... and a couple of new blogs ...
OK ... off to my blogroll now to "comment away" !!

Ramadan Kareem...

2006-09-23T11:04:00.000+02:00

اللهم و نور بيوتنا بالقرآن

اللهم و طهر بيوتنا من الآثام و المنكرات

اللهم و اجعل بيوتنا مسلمة لك و أكثر فيها الذكر و القرآن
اللهم بلغنا رمضان

2006-09-20T14:12:00.000+03:00

I need to talk to a close friend... someone who knows me inside out... someone who can tell exactly what I feel by the tone of my voice... someone I can pour my heart out to... someone who will listen... someone who will understand my mixed contradicting emotions... someone who's been with me through good times and bad...someone who knows all about my life... someone I can laugh through my tears with... someone I can sit with, crosslegged on the floor, hugging a cushion and share my dreams with...
I miss you A... badly...

2006-09-16T23:21:00.000+03:00

I finally forgave him ...though I thought I'd forgiven him already .... at the mosque today... during Qiyam prayers... I found myself including him in the list of people I did duaa for... found his face among the flashing faces I was praying for Allah to forgive... it was only then that I knew I'd truly forgiven him ...
Al7amdulilah...

"Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life"

2006-08-08T15:10:00.000+03:00

"Say: "Shall we tell you of those who lose most in respect of their deeds?
"Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life. While they thought that they were acquiring good by their works?
They are those who deny the Signs of their Lord and the fact of their having to meet Him (in the Hereafter): vain will be their works, nor shall We, on the Day of Judgment, give them any Weight. "
[Al Kahf :103-105]

Every Friday as I sit and read Surat AlKahf I stop at these verses... and read them again ... and think how many people in this world we live in fit into this description... especially with what's been going on lately in Lebanon... I'm not good with words... and have been silent lately ... can't really find the words to express what I've been feeling... all I can say is I've been trying to do what I can... God bless you Lebanon...

"Our Lord!, Let not our hearts deviate now after Thou hast guided us, but grant us mercy from Thine own Presence; for Thou art the Grantor of bounties without measure. "
[Aal Imran:8]

2006-07-26T06:57:00.000+03:00

انا لله و انا اليه راجعون

اللهم أجرهم في مصيبتهم و أخلف لهم خيرا منها

Freedom Now

2006-07-13T23:36:00.000+03:00

They throwed him in jail
And they kept him there
Hoping soon he'd die
That his body and spirit would waste away
And soon after that his mind
But every day is born a fool
One who thinks that he can rule
One who says tomorrows mine
One who wakes one day to find
The prison doors open the shackles broken
And chaos in the street

Everybody sing were free free free free
Everybody sing were free free free free
Everybody sing were free free free free

They throwed him in jail
And they kept him there
Hoping his memory'd die
That the people forget how he once led
And fought for justice in their lives

But every day is born a man
Who hates what he can't understand
Who thinks the answer is to kill
Who thinks his actions are God's will

And he thinks he's free free free free
Yes he thinks he's free free free free
He thinks he's free free free free

Soon must come the day
When the righteous have their way
Unjustly tried are free
And people live in peace I say
Give the man release
Go on and set your conscience free
Right the wrongs you made
Even a fool can have his day

Let us all be free free free free
Let us all be free free free free
Let us all be free free free free

Free our bodies free our minds
Free our hearts
Freedom for everyone
And freedom now

Freedom now
Freedom now
Freedom now

Let us all be free free free free
Let us all be free free free free
Let us all be free free free free

Freedom Now-Tracy Chapman

El7amdulilah... he's back!

2006-07-08T13:25:00.000+03:00

Yes ... he's back !! El7amdulilah ... after being detained for around 2 months ... he's finally back to his home and family...
I was in touch with his wif e during that period and following up with his news etc... then I got a call from her telling me that he's going to be released and should be in Alex the next couple of days inshAllah... but she couldn't tell when exactly coz these things take time ... anyway she said she'd call me when he reached home...
The day after the next I called... nope ... he's still not here but he's in Alex... could be here any minute... I can't describe the amount of feelings in her voice that day .... this woman has been so "saabera" and patient throughout the two months her husband has been away ... there was never a touch of despair in her voice... always faith and hope in Allah ... mashAllah ... but that day her voice had a different ring to it...
A couple of hours later I get a call ... I look to see it's her number... I pick up ... and hear him saying "Assalamo Alaikom ya benti" !! It was sooooooooo nice to hear his voice !! He seemed to be in very good spirits mashAllah ... and joked around as usual... mashAllah ... Rabena yekhaleeh le his family ...

يا رب لك الحمد كما ينبغي لجلال وجهك و عظيم سلطانك

The piano

2006-07-01T02:19:00.000+03:00

I've always wanted to play the piano....I learnt to play the recorder at school.. I loved it ...and I still do... but I've always looked at people whose fingers fly over the piano keys with some sort of envy... I go to Omar Khairat's concerts and sit at the front where I can watch his fingers... I enjoy the music immensely but the way piano players' fingers glide over those keys never seizes to amaze me... I just love it... some day inshAllah, when I have time, I'll learn how to play... but for the time being I'll just have to imagine that I'm playing the piano when my fingers fly over the keyboard as I type...

Where is my lip balm?

2006-06-28T23:47:00.000+03:00

Little bro has this habit of walking around the whole house when he's on the phone... and his phone calls concerning events, workshops, seminars can be pretty looooooooong... anyway, it wouldn't be bad if he'd just walk around, would it? The thing is... as he's walking around he tends to absent mindedly pick things up... fiddle with them, then "drop them off "in the most ridiculous places on his "trip" around the house... what does he pick up? Anything small enough to be held in one hand ... you name it... pens, small souvenirs, bracelets, nail polish .. whatever comes his way!!

Yesterday I had an evening class... he called me from the military base and told me he'd be home when I got back isA .... coooool...I got back home after a long day and found him getting ready to go pray 3esha in the mosque downstairs... so started clearing up the sort of mess in my room by the time he gets back ... "Now where is that tinted yummy lip balm I'd left on my dressing table when I switched bags before going out? ...nowhere to be seen ... maybe I never took it out of the bag? Nope ... not in bag .... not in drawer .... aha ... he moved it ... it must be him" ....looked around the house ... couldn't find it ... w ba3deeeiiin ... it's one of my favourites... waited till he got back and "politely" asked him :D ... "No, no I didn't!! Why on earth would I take your lip balm ?!??!" OK ... decided to let go of it ... it would show up one day .... then I heard him laughing in the other room ... went to find him holding the lip balm and grinning... it was in his pocket all along !!!

I don't want to imagine how his face would've looked had it dropped out of his pocket while he was praying !!

I miss my Dad

2006-06-16T01:34:00.000+03:00

I miss my papa... I miss the way I used to come home and tell him things that happened at work... I miss sitting watching TV in the same room with him as he sorts out papers or reads an article.... I miss making breakfast with him... I miss laughing at his jokes.... I miss completing sentences he starts and doesn't finish (deliberately ... to see if I'll know what he meant to say).... I miss the way his eyes smile at me.... I miss his awkward hug...

Rabena yekhaleeh leena w yegeeboh for the Summer vacation besalaamah

Me no blogger

2006-06-14T22:40:00.000+03:00

Alright... I am one LAZY blogger !! I don't even know if anyone still reads this! The scenario keeps getting repeated... I post something... then disappear for ages... then come back and say how busy I was... and that I'm fine... and maybe post something else. Is anyone here "borrrrrrrrrrred" ?!?!? *rolling eyes*

Just wanted to let you know I've been verrrrrrry busy... but el7amdulilah I'm fine :-P

Neighbours

2006-06-02T22:24:00.000+03:00

I miss my neighbours back in Benghazi... I miss the family atmosphere... that's been making me get flashbacks of things that happened and how it was being a neighbour in Benghazi...

Back in 1985, when I was 6 years old...we had a horrible car accident... baba was taking us home from school...we were all injured... but I was the only one who had to stay at the hospital for a major operation to remove glass from my leg...anyway... I have vague memories of most of what happened... but what I remember most is the arabic comics our neighbour used to bring me in hospital... for me... they were "different" ... I'd only read English comics and stories... these were "new" :-)... I still remember this lady... she'd come and babysit me... and sometimes even sleep over when my mum had to go back to be with my brothers and dad... such a dear... God bless you Ubla Amaal...

I also remember when someone knocked on our door one evening to tell my Dad that our car that had been stolen a year and half earlier was found in a town called Derna ! This was the home town of one of our neighbours...so baba went with big bro and one of their sons to get the car... to this day... baba cannot forget the hospitality that he was met with by our neighbour's extended family there...

Big bro got married in Feb 2004... our neighbours were all dying to be here in Egypt to see S "their son" who'd left Libya 6 years earlier and never gone back since... when we got back to Benghazi after the wedding ... our neighbours made us one of the warmest parties I've ever been part of ...

Neighbours in Benghazi are about "being there for each other" ... they're about sharing with each other... they're almost family...

When someone's new to the building, the ladies get together and plan a "lamma" to welcome the "new lady" .... when someone gives birth... the same happens... when someone dies everyone is there to share your grief... in 3ashoura... I remember going up and down our building giving out plates of my mother's yummy 3ashoura... and we'd get loads of the traditional Benghazian boiled beans and chick peas... in weddings neighbours are always invited... sometimes it's even quite crazy when you're invited to your neighbour's cousin's wedding !!! Ahh.. Libyan weddings ... but that's another story altogether... needs a separate post!

I guess it isn't all as perfect as I make it sound... maybe I am a little nostalgic... but I do miss my neighbours... maybe because here in Alexandria I hardly know them ... even though I've been here for almost a year now... it feels weird to not really know our neighbours... I mean they're only 8 flats! Back in Benghazi, our building had 38 flats... and you can say almost everybody knew everybody... we weren't all "friends" but you knew the people who lived with you in your "big house"...

"And serve Allah. Ascribe no thing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and unto the neighbour who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbour who is not of kin, and the fellow-traveller and the wayfarer and (the slaves) whom your right hands possess. Lo! Allah loveth not such as are proud and boastful" (An-Nisaa:36)

World No Tobacco Day

2006-05-31T07:18:00.000+03:00

Tobacco: Deadly in any form or disguise.... say NO to all forms of Tobacco on World No Tobacco Day 2006

This is Muhammad (swt)

2006-05-27T15:54:00.000+03:00

This is our Holy Prophet

Another 15 days

2006-05-25T14:45:00.000+03:00

He's going to be detained for another 15 long days... just when I had hope that they'd let them out... el7amdulilah for everything... I just hope he's OK...
His family are amazing mashAllah... taking it very well...saw them last week... went to stand with them and his colleagues in a peaceful "protest" where he works... seeing his 10 year old standing bravely holding up a photo of her dad was heart wrenching ... she was so strong... so sure of what she was doing mashAllah...

Rabena yessabarhom w yehawwen 3aleihom...

I'm still around

2006-05-22T22:06:00.000+03:00

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers... I'm still around... just a bit mentally and emotionally exhausted... but el7amdulilah :)

2006-05-11T18:29:00.000+03:00

Can't concentrate... have been praying and praying since then...
This has never been a political blog ...and it never will be... but I am frustrated and stressed out over what's happening here in Egypt... people getting arrested for no reason... people who believe in their right to express themselves... people who have the dignity to stand up and speak their mind...
Feels different when someone you know very well and is so very dear to you is one of those people... one of the most respectful men I've met in my life... calm, open minded, logical, thoughtful and so full of passion... I won't be able to say enough about him ... I can't think ...no news about him yet... all I can do is pray and wait for a call... I pray he is well... he had bypass surgery less than a year ago... I pray his wife and children are coping and are "saabereen"...

انا لله و انا اليه راجعون، اللهم أجرهم في مصيبتهم و أخلف لهم خيرا منها

يا رب، يا رب، يا رب، يا أرحم الراحمبن، يا مجيب الدعاء، ارفع الظلم عن المظلومين

Update: It's official... he's among those arrested... spent the past 2 hours on the net... searching and reading...found his name in more than one place... I don't want to believe it... I'm still in denial... please pray for him...

Update 2: Just got to know from his wife that he called last night 3:30 am... she says he sounds fine...knowing him .. he would sound fine... a man of such faith.. el7amdulilah... but his medication still hasn't reached him... detained for 15 days... only God knows if those are the first of many 15 days... again ... please pray for him and all those with him...

Ready?

2006-05-06T23:33:00.000+03:00

Just not me .... or not me "yet" ... what do we think of when we fall in love and can't wait to get married? Of all the stuff we see in movies? Or of the bliss of being with the man of our dreams? We don't really think of the future .. do we? Restrict ourselves to the very, very near future... short term plans I'd call them... is that enough to be able to start a new "balanced" life? Do we know "why" we're getting married? Or what we want to do with our "new" life?

Was at a family gathering full of kids and noise, babbling and laughter... enjoyed it ... but kept getting weird feelings ... something like I kept getting detached and looking at things from another angle... watching my bro's wife with my adorable niece... and how all her attention is directed towards the needs of her baby girl ... everything she does or thinks of is controlled by this tiny amazing being.... she's happy doing that ... but exhausted and sometimes depressed.... not depressed in the sense of actually "depressed" ... but more of like thinking " Where is my me time?" ... does she even have time to think of that? I don't know...

My cousin was there too .... married with 2 kids... 12 and 8 years old ... hubby works at sea... she works and has all the kids' responsibilities, work, house etc... worn out at only 37 !

I don't know how I'd manage... I want to have time to do things... I do rush around ... but I still have time to sit and listen to my favourite doaa at night and sometimes cry from it's beauty as I "sing" along with the Sheikh.... I have time to wake up early and after praying fagr put Mishary Rashed on and let his enchanting voice fill my room.... I have time to think...to contemplate sometimes... time to read... time to work ... and time to pamper myself...

Maybe living alone and only with little bro before that has got me used to doing things that I may have not been able to do if I'd still been living in a "family" house....maybe I've grown to be too accustomed to completely managing my own time and life with hardly any interferences.... I come home when I finsh work ... whenever I want to .... I go out to run errands/ meet friends/ go to the mosque/ NGO ... all when "I" decide to go ... when I want to sleep ... I crawl into bed.... to wake up early next morning to finish designing something before running to the Centre...

Oh I don't know...I sometimes feel I may not be ready for the responsibilities of being married....

Made in Bangladesh

2006-05-05T21:25:00.000+03:00

I just love that T-shirt ... my best friend got it for me all the way from Bangladesh back in '95.. was in high school... and loved pink pink pink .... it was a lovely shade of hot pink ... still is actually ... though may have faded a little ...(not a lot coz I take great care of it)... anyway ... wore it quite often till I got veiled.... but did I stop wearing it then? ... actually .. no ... wore it at home... am wearing it now... it's so comfy... and I love it's colour.... every time I wear it ... I look at the tag and remember my best friend in high school... hope she's fine wherever she is and whatever she's doing... never thought a present could last that long... or be used for that long...
Almost 11 years later... memories come rushing to my mind... when I look at the tag that says "Made in Bangladesh"...

Tagged...verrrrrrrrry old... I know :-D

2006-04-26T00:10:00.000+02:00

OK ... so being back to the blogosphere... lemme start with my homework :-D ... 4 people tagged me on this I think ... Ahmad, Wonderer, Rain and Noblese... here goes

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.
ان من الأمور غير المحببة في الاسلام، و التي لا يرضى عنها الله، هي ضغف العزم، و ضعف الصبر
الصبر و الذوق- عمرو خالد

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I yawned...

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Part of Elbeit beitak

4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
12:15a.m

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
12:12a.m

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Me typing

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Yesterday... was at my granny's ... yes you got it right ... spent all day at home today ...I deserve a break :-)

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Easy crossword puzzles for my students

9. What are you wearing?
Comfy pyjamas

10. Did you dream last night?
Dunno... I hardly ever remember my dreams

11. When did you last laugh?
Sometime today... don't remember about what but with little bro around.. there's always something to laugh about

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Nothing at all !

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Don't think so

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Not bad

15. What was the last film you saw?
MUHAMMAD- Legacy of a Prophet

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Can't think now ... but would probably make hospitals for the poor

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
Mmmmm... am not into "sweet stuff" .. can go for weeks not eating something sweet (with the exception of fruit)

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Make poverty history

19. Do you like to dance?
Not really

20. George Bush.
What about him?

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Huda

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Muhammad

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Lived all my life abroad... just got back to Egypt... but you never know... might end up leaving Egypt again...

24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
And those who feared their Lord will be led to the Garden in crowds: until behold, they arrive there; its gates will be opened; and its Keepers will say: "Peace be upon you! well have ye done! enter ye here, to dwell therein." (Az-zumar:73)
Allahoma ej3alna min ahl iljannah

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
I think I'm a "bit" late ;-P... everyone's done this meme :-D but if there happens to be someone out there who hasn't done it ... you're tagged..

Here again

2006-04-25T20:52:00.000+02:00

Back to the blogosphere again- I hope ... never intendedto take a break from it ... but just didn't have time to read blogs at first... then started reading again ... but didn't have the energy to comment !! I don't know what it is that's gotten into me ... some sort of "mute mode" !
Just wanted to tell you that I'm back reading your blogs and soon isA will be running around commenting too :-D

2006-04-10T14:13:00.000+02:00

Oh my God I'm so touched...that I could mean so much for someone ... that someone could see all this in me .... I don't think I could even put this in words....

She says I remind her of her.... of one of her closest friends... she says I'm so much like her... Allah yer7amha... God rest her soul in peace.... she says that she felt Allah took her away ... but gave her me instead... she says that one of the best things that happened to her after starting work in the Centre was meeting me... she says she feels hope has come into her life again... and even though we're not exactly the same... and she appreciates me for what I am... there is so much in common ... and she's thankful to God for sending me to her... sub7an Allah...

I am moved to tears... and have been crying since her phone call.... I've always felt that N was going to be one of my close friends here in Egypt... but I never imagined she had all that inside her....

El7amdulilah...

Me

2006-04-04T06:38:00.000+02:00

Around a month ago, Jane "challenged" bloggers to show her that they were "real" .... found a photo that doesn't reveal much of me ... but proves I'm real .... so here "Me" is :-)

Shahira

2006-03-31T14:26:00.000+02:00

I have 11 students in my new class... we sit on a table together... people on my right, my left and facing me... I usually learn my students' names by the first 10 mins of the first class... I mean most of them just 'look like their names' ! But not this time .... for some reason I kept calling a girl called Asmaa - Shahira ... which was the name of another girl in class! Not that I'd call the other one Asmaa... no no ... she was Shahira as well :D... And was this for a day? No... went on like that for like 3 days or something... I'd say Shahira and look at Asmaa on the opposite side of the table... Oh my God ... this has never happened to me... and I was starting to worry that the girl might seriously start to get irritated... students like it when their teachers seem to know their names from the start right away ... creates rapport if you know what I mean.... anyway.. I finally managed to convince myself that she was Asmaa and things have been OK since then :-)

PS. She still looks like a 'Shahira' to me though :-P

Random

2006-03-31T12:28:00.000+02:00

Supposed to be studying... ended up reading and commenting on blogs... haven't done that in ages... missed it like crazy... felt like I was catching up with old friends... some of which had so much to say! Still haven't finished with my blogroll though... but I've spent like an hour and a half and I should really get back to studying... will be really stuck for time later !

I've decided to take a test called the Teaching Knowledge Test which is supposed to be on April the 19th ... coming all the way from Cambridge... and not really available on a regular basis here in Alexandria ... so I don't want to let this chance go... did the sample tests they had online ... and I can say I did really well (they had the answer key of course) .... but ... I still gotta study a bit y'know... especially that I haven't been able to do that for a week...

You see, little bro was here on a short vacation from the military service.... for 6 days... yep... only 6 days .. and only God knows when he'll be able to come again .... anyway ... el7amulilah for these 6 days .... it was hectic and crazy ... with him trying to catch up with everything ... his work, MSc. studies, social work and an event they're trying to put together .... and relax too !! I guess you know what fell off the list ! The funny part was I felt I was his mama :) ....most of the time with little bro... we're like best, best friends.... but I do sometimes get that mama feeling with him from time to time :D ... I mean waking up early in the morning to cook for him before I go to work coz he'll be back before me is a mama feeling .... listening to him recalling the shocking things that happen over there... then sometimes crying with frustration that this is actually happening to him.... is a mama feeling .... I don't really know how to put it in words... but between sharing, loving and fighting as brother and sister ... sometimes this mama thingie touches me ....

Wonder what type of mother I'd make? I can see big bro's wife M now as a new mother.... giving up everything for little baby N... would I be able to do that? I dunno ...
They're supposed to be here for a 2 week vacation today isA ! Can't wait to see baby N ... she's absolutely adorable in the photos! and you know the naughty, playful type which I just can't resist !

Guess I won't get much studying done :D

Nerro in Alex

2006-03-24T23:57:00.000+02:00

Met Nerro today... she was here in Alex on a one day visit... so we got together for around an hour... chatted, looked at her photos (which were wonderful btw... please, please post some ya Nerro)... and.... spoke about Alex...and as we were talking....I realised, through her- how much I love Alexandria...
Please come again, Nerro... enjoy your day... and awaken in me all those lovely feelings for Alexandria ;-)

White bags...

2006-03-24T20:35:00.000+02:00

I fall in love with a certain bag... I want to buy the beige one ... I really need it ... but am in a hurry and going to work or something so I don't buy it at the moment.... I go next day or the day after that.... I'd like the beige bag with so and so .... sold? You don't have any more? You only get 1 of each colour? Oh OK.... how about your branches? OK I'll check them out... a couple of days later.... no beige bag even in the other branch .... so ..... I buy the white one !

Around a year later....I fall in love again with another bag.... but this time I need a brown one... I don't buy it though .... because I don't have enough money on me at the moment... a few days later.... no brown bag... Sold :( ... maybe they manage to find me one in the other branch.... days later.... sorry .... no brown bag .... soooooooo........ I buy the white one !

Dear A,

2006-03-18T18:47:00.000+02:00

I don't know when you'll get this... or even if you ever will... but I'm writing it all the same; just because I feel like writing to you.... had the sudden urge to write... to write you a letter that one day you'll hold in your hands and unfold to find my words scattered yet filling the page...

It's now 1:12 am, Friday 17th March... I'm at my aunt's house... sleeping over... How strange life is and how the days bring the most unexpected things... who would've thought that one day I would be all alone here in Alexandria without any of my family?! But here I am- alone- no mama, no baba, no S, & not even dear H... this is life my friend... and as strong as I may seem on the outside... there are times like today and this very moment, that I feel I really need someone... someone close... someone with whom I can be totally myself ...

As I write this... in spite of myself... tears stream down my face... not tears of self pity ... no... tears of longing... tears of .... oh I don't know what to call them... but I can tell you that's it been long since I last cried... and seems all this was bottled up inside... and it was time to let it all out...

But life goes on el7amdulilah... and things are fine.... I'm still the same old me... pretty much the same... and I've made many friends- people who seem to enjoy my company and appreciate it... but are they really friends? What are friends again? And how do we know that we may now call one a friend? Sub7an Allah... feelings that can never be fully understood or explained to oneself!

I don't want you to worry about me, dear A... I'm fine... I assure you... but it's alright to feel weak once in a while, isn't it? No harm in that... After months and months of my happy, smiling, confident face on display... one night of weak tears is nothing, right? But it is something; something that will inshAllah keep me going and recharge me for more and more days of the happy, confident face... the way everyone around me sees me... only you and H can tell when behind that strong face lies weakness.... you both see right through me... and today you surely would've felt it....

Ya Allah, I haven't let myself cry like this for ages! The feeling of the warm tears on my face... how soothing they feel as they slowly trickle down on my cheeks and onto my neck... El7amdulilah and sub7an Allah that God created tears to relieve us... Sub7an Allah ...

Now there are no more tears left my friend... Thank you for listening... I knew I could count on you... as I've always done and will always do inshAllah...

Love,
Me

Run run run

2006-03-15T16:12:00.000+02:00

Well, apparently going to sleep over at my aunts' is easier said than done :-/ ... been quite hectic the past couple of days... had loads of work to do as there's a small project I'm working on which is supposed to be handed in this week + the usual preparations for the English classes... I'm always on the run ... and lugging around stuff... not a very pretty sight ;-)

El7amdulilah for everything ... inshAllah next week my schedule will be better and things should start to shape up a little !!

Just a name?

2006-03-13T13:59:00.000+02:00

How different my name looks when written in Arabic...lots of curves in English ... but in Arabic ... lines ... looks different...like a different person...although it's the same "Me"... but does a name really say who you are? I dunno... but I can't imagine myself being called anything else... I guess in a way it blends into who we are with time...

Try writing your name in both languages and have a good look at it... tell me what you see ;-)

PS. Was talking about my real name ... not "Me" ;-)

Where should I stay? Update

2006-03-11T13:36:00.000+02:00

Thanks for your input girls, I really appreciate it :) Was actually writing this as a comment then I realised it was getting pretty long so I posted it here instead..

Our family is really small... I may have never mentioned it but I only have an uncle and an aunt from my dad's side and 2 aunts from my mum's...

All my cousins on my dad's side are married (they're only 5 btw) with the exception of one guy (uncle's son) so you can understand why staying at my uncle's house wasn't an option....and I only have one girl cousin whose hubby works at sea and she is in the biggest mess ever between her house and her mum's ... the kids' schools... her job etc etc... I'm usually the one helping her out !!!

One of my aunts from my mum's side lives in Saudi Arabia now, and the other one is the unmarried one living with my granny...it would be impossible to ask my granny to leave her house and come an' live with me coz now at her age she doesn't feel comfy except in her own home... and of course my aunt can't leave her alone and come with me...

So you see I don't really have any cousins or aunts who can come and live with me!! That's why my options were limited to me going to stay with them...

Now you guys mentioned bringing a "live in" maid to stay with me... I'm afraid we don't know anyone we could really trust... there was a nanny who used to help in taking care of my granny Allah yer7amha (dad's mum) but she wasn't "live in" ... ya3ni she had her own family....my family are sort of against "live in" maids w keda... ya3ni we have someone come on certain days but that's about it.... the last time my dad's family had a live in maid was like 30 years ago or something when they were young girls "min elballad" and they knew their parents (dad's family is originally from Minia)... and were sorta helping their parents out by bringing them to live with them....

My mum left yesterday.... I stayed at our flat... but will probably start sleeping over at my aunt's from tomorrow inshAllah.... everybody is worried sick about me ... though there is no need to worry at all... they seem to think I'll feel lonely or have nothing to do or something... so ya 7abaybi keep calling and making sure I'm OK... the point is I don't spend much time at home... I'm mostly running from place to place during the day... from the Language centre to the office... to the NGO... to the mosque...sometimes meeting friends... and when I'm home I have soooooo much to do... I usually don't finish.... many a day I fall asleep with the light on and an open book !!

Today I'm staying at home in the morning for a change... have work to do at home... I'll probably only go out at 3esha to the mosque... hope I manage to finish all there is to be done :-)

PS. Loul, you seem to have gone through a lot of "stay alone" problems ! El7amdulilah that they sorted themselves out...

PPS. Doshar, I have wild parties every other night ;-P

PPPS. Wonderer, you were asking if my mum was Libyan... nope she isn't ... my mum is Egyptian of Turkish origins... she has to take a visa for going out and into Libya though... nothing to do with Egypt ya3ni...

Where should I stay?

2006-03-07T11:26:00.000+02:00

So little bro has finished his first 45 days of military training... what comes next ? He gets sent to some place in Egypt to spend the rest of the year... the ironic thing is for some reason I don't understand they never get positioned in their hometowns... it's like a system or something... people from Alexandria get sent to places like Marsa Matrouh in the west.... Caireons get sent to Sina or soemthing .. etc etc .... now what happens is everyone tries to get help ... wasta ya3ni... to move to his hometown... we've been trying to do this for little bro... don't know how things will work out yet ... only God knows .... Rabena yesahil inshAllah....

Mama is really worried ... she has to go back to Libya next Friday max... her visa ends .... she's been here for 2 months ... Wow ... 2 whole months... and now she must go back... what's worrying her is .. what if little bro isn't in Alex? Where am I going to stay? I have 2 options...

a) My granny and unmarried aunt ... but they live somewhere which is just so far away from everywhere I go... I mean ... work, NGO, mosque, ... everywhere... another thing is ... no internet connection....

b)My aunt (dad's sis) .... lives around 15 mins from our flat... close enough to work...my cousins are all married... but one of them still practically lives there coz her hubby works at sea... has 2 kids who love to sit and chat with me... no internet connection either..

I'm trying to tell mama not to worry ... I'll manage ... but the truth is I don't want to stay at either place.... I do love them all... and I'm sure they'd do their best to make me comfortable and at home... but it would still be too much of a hassle.... I mean I won't be able to tag all of my things along... plus when I prepare my lessons I always get those late night ideas that have me rummaging through our drawers and shelves for anything ranging from travel guides to canelloni !! And now with another part time job as an engineer (yesssss !!! just started 10 days ago) I also keep going back to my books to check things out....So I think I'd prefer to come back from work to our flat... have lunch, relax, and work... then take my things for the next day and go to sleep over at my aunt's.... it won't be easy... maybe tiring... but for me... that may be the most suitable thing to do...

Who knows... maybe I don't need to do that... maybe little bro gets positioned in Alex (ya Rab!!).... isA everything goes well and Rabena yerratebha lela7san....

Note: Some of you may be thinking "What's the big deal? Why don't you just stay at your flat?" ...it's just that it's still not "culturally acceptable" here to do that... and I'm sure my Egyptian blogger friends know what I'm talking about...

I'm human

2006-03-03T18:21:00.000+02:00

I'm not an angel y'know... I'm human... with all the good and bad in me... I'm human.... I can't take the stress any more... I can't take my mum crying every day for reason or no reason...I can't take feeling helpless and not knowing what to do....I can't take not having time to do things I should and want to do... I can't take having to stay up to get work done that I should've done during the day but couldn't... I can't take having to calm everyone down all the time... I can't take keeping quiet when I'm going to burst.... I can't take smiling when I feel like crying... I just can't take it any more....

El7amdulilah for everything... I am blessed I know... and I count my blessings every day but I had to let this out...

اللهم اغفر لي ذنبي و أذهب غيظ قلبي و أجرني من الشيطان

Touched on my Birthday...

2006-02-17T21:43:00.000+02:00

*Things change with time,
and you have changed too...
From my little daughter...
to my loving friend...

Sent by my Dad

*Mama's kiss right after midnight

*Little bro's mobile appointment alarm ringing (he left it here at home as it's not allowed in the military camp)... to show me that he remembers my brithday even while he's away... found it ringing... picked it up to read "Happy Birthday" ... almost cried here..

*Big bro's early morning call from work in Saudi...

*Surprise party complete with a special birthday cake made by my amazing students...

And so many other little things that made my day and showed me how much I'm loved :)

El7amdulilah...

Note: Written on my birthday ...around two weeks ago !

Our beloved Prophet

2006-02-12T23:48:00.000+02:00

One of my friends wrote this, sent it to all her friends and asked them to share it with everyone they know... and even post it on the net for everyone to see... so here it is... with all my love to our beloved Prophet Mohammad (Peace and blessings upon him)...

In Response

I once asked a non-Muslim woman, “Did you know that the Eskimos have more than a hundred words for snow?”
She said, “Wow…I never knew that!”
I replied, “Well…I guess it’s because snow is a very important part of their lives.”
She paused a little and then said, “You Muslims have 99 names for God, and 5 names for Muhammad (PBUH)…I guess it’s because they’re a very important part of your lives.”
I went silent, I was surprised…I had never thought of it that way before. It was so true.

Our Koran says:

'Say: If you fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His Cause, then wait until Allah brings about His decision (torment).And Allah guides not the people who are (rebellious, disobedient to Allah).'

* Why is Muhammad (PBUH) so special to Muslims?

When Muslims are asked for the reasons behind their love for and devotion to Muhammad (PBUH),they give a variety of answers, personal answers, they talk about how he has defined their lives in terms they could understand, how he has given them reason to believe that they could be better Muslims just by following him, they could also tell you that to them he’s a role model, someone who was very effective and made a huge difference just by being there….they can go on and on explaining all the different ways in which Muhammad (PBUH) has touched their lives…but all the answers stem from, and are a part of, the following:

Prophet Muhammad was the means through which God’s message reached us. He was the guide, after God, who has simply taken us from the darkness of “not knowing” to the light of “knowing”. He was the one who has delivered to us the Koran, and the Koran told us all we needed to know. It gave a reason for our creation. The Koran told us that we are here for one purpose; to worship God, to worship Him through acts of obedience and through laboring to amend and improve. It gave a sense of balance to our lives, by giving weight to what is right and what is wrong, and it gave us another very important thing; the understanding and acceptance of all that happens to us, a faith in the justice of God through which we gain inner peace.
For any organization to operate efficiently it must have its own mission statement, outlining goals, obligations and remunerations…the Koran is our mission statement, without which we would be lost…and Muhammad (PBUH) delivered the Koran to us.

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) has provided us with the “Sunnah” (all that he does and says), and the Sunnah is complementary to the Koran. For example, the Koran asked us to pray, and the Sunnah told us how to pray.

Islam is about believing that there is no God but Allah, the one and only, and that Muhammad (PBUH) is his messenger.
The Koran tells us to believe in all prophets, and that they were all messengers from God trying to spread His word.

‘Say (O Muslims): “We believe in Allah and that which has been sent down to us and that which has been sent down to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the offspring of the twelve sons of Jacob, and that which has been given to Moses and Jesus, and that which has been given to the Prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and to Him we have submitted (in Islam).”’ (2:136)

Our religion is not complete without our following of Muhammad (PBUH), we must yield to whatever he commands and love him in order to gain God’s love…because he is here with God’s message and to that message we must succumb.

'Say, (O Muhammad, to mankind): If you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.' (3:31)

We believe that prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was a human, was mortal, but unlike any other man, God has perfected him for the spreading of His word.

‘Muhammad is no more than a messenger, and indeed (many) messengers have passed away before him. If he dies or is killed, will you then turn back on your heels (as disbelievers)? And he who turns back on his heels, not the least harm will he do to Allah; and Allah will give reward to those who are grateful.’ (3:144)

We've all heard of great men, men who have shaped cultures, men who have led thousands, men who have excelled at war…each of those great men was superior in a specific field more than any other, but Muhammad (PBUH) excelled in all fields. He excelled in leadership, politics, trade, strategic planning at times of war and economics…etc. and to that history bears witness.
In the book written by Michael Hart, "The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History", he ranked Muhammad (PBUH) number one. Though we have our reservations regarding the inclusion of prophets among scientists and famous scholars, for prophets are in a category by themselves.

There are a lot of misconceptions regarding what Muhammad (PBUH) preached, it is claimed that he marginalized women, and denied them their rights which is contrary to the truth. Muhammad (PBUH) advocated the fair treatment of women. He gave women their rights and roles even at times of war. Women, according to him, were not to provide financial support to the household, but were rather free to use their money in whichever ways they pleased. They were not to be beaten or humiliated; they were to keep their maiden names and were to have an active role in the society. He knew the effectiveness of a believing woman and was able to direct such effectiveness to the benefit of the cause.

Another misconception was regarding his dictatorship, those who have read his biography would know that he always took votes, even though he was the leader. There is a very popular question that had been posed to him by his companions and followers which was, " O messenger of God, is it God's inspiration, or opinion and consultancy?"

Muhammad was a man of peace for he obeyed what God had commanded and what God revealed in the Koran:

'Fight in the way of Allah against those who fight against you, but begin not hostilities, Lo! Allah loves not, aggressors.' (2:190)

All the previous explanations are contrary to what the media portrays. The media claims that Islam is about terrorism and violence…which is not true. One should never judge a religion by the minority of people who don't accurately practice it, that minority that is reflected in the media. One has to thin-slice in order to comprehend the truth and not be misled by false representations…OR ELSE…we would believe that Christianity allows pre-marital sexual relations just because 99% of the movies reveal it to be that way…which is contrary to Christianity.

There is no doubt that all religions agree on one thing, it being that God is All-Knowing and the sole creator of all things.
But the controversy between Muslims and non-Muslims begins at a level below that…it begins here where non-Muslims claim that Muhammad (PBUH) was given too much attention in Islam, the kind of attention that he didn’t deserve…for non-Muslims believe that he was just a man (and here Muslims agree), and that he wasn’t perfect (and here Muslims disagree), they say that he called for bloodshed, oppression of women, and preached ideas contrary to those of the prophets before him.
Would God want that? Does God call for violence and oppression? Does God send contradicting messages? Anyone with the slightest belief in God would blurt out “Of course not!”

If God is all-knowing and capable of all things, why would He place His message in the hands of someone who was incompetent, who was not qualified to preach the truth and to encourage people to act in the righteous manner? Would he choose a man of earthly desires to teach people how to live their lives as passer bys?
Even logic says no.

If we Muslims give Muhammad (PBUH) too much attention…why wouldn’t the religion be called “Muhammadism” or any other word derived from his name? If you notice, all religions have names that are derived from either the name of a person, a place or a group/tribe. Think about it…”Christianity”, “Judaism”, “Buddhism”, "Confucianism" …etc. Islam is the only religion whose name has an independent meaning, it’s derived from the word “to submit” in Arabic…to submit to the one and only God, to submit to His wishes and commands.

To sum up, our prophet is way too precious to be mocked while we stand tongue-tied. An offense against him is an offense against the entire Islamic nation. We shall always be grateful to him and would do all that is in our power to spread the word of how good he was and enlighten the world about his countless virtues…for prophet Muhammad (PBUH) deserves all the acclaim that is given to him…and all the love we bear in our hearts would not come close to a fraction of the love he bore to our nation…and all nations.

Keep praying...

2006-02-08T00:16:00.002+02:00

Howa elwaa7id be-yeghra2 ezzay ya Mama?
Delwa2ti 7anshouf ya 7abibi....

Mum, how does one drown?
We're going to see now dearie...

Witnessed by Egyptian ferry survivor Mohamed Ramadan Arafah

Prayer for Egyptian ferry victims and victims' families

2006-02-06T01:02:00.000+02:00

انا لله و انا اليه راجعون

اللهم أجرهم في مصيبتهم و أخلف لهم خيرا منها

آمين

My trip to Cairo ... belated

2006-02-06T00:47:00.000+02:00

But " better late than never" ... right ?

Well .... where should I start ? It all started when I wrote this comment on Doshar's post on the Book Fair in Cairo.... Doshar called me that night ... and was like "go and book a ticket now ya benti ... andn I'm off work so I'll be able to show you around" !!! Told my mum about it ... then went next day morning and booked my train tickets (to and from Cairo)!!! Couldn't really sleep well that night ... was too excited to really sleep .....then next day morning I was off to Cairo !!!
Doshar was waiting for me at the train station ... I'd seen her in a couple of photos before so recognising her wasn't a problem .... the weird thing is I didn't feel it was the first time we meet.... no awkward feelings .... like I'd known her for quite a while !!!! Was fun getting lost in Cairo's streets ... was fun asking people for directions.... and was great finally getting to the Book Fair !!!!!!

We spent a couple of hours there... and during that time we were contacting Roora, Wonderer and Dalulla so we could all meet for late lunch somewhere.... Wonderer called Nerro too and they made it ... Dalulla couldn't make it though :( InshAllah next time we get to meet ya gameela... Nesreen ... was great talking to you on the phone...as for the others ... what can I say ? You were almost just as I expected... I enjoyed myself.... couldn't really believe that I was actually sitting there meeting you all ...still feels like a dream ....

Now the funny thing is I missed my train back to Alex !!! Hehehe.... we thought we were on the safe side when we got up an hour before time to get to the train station ... but the traffic was a nightmare !!!! and we took an hour and a half to get there !!! My train was at 6:00 and I got to the train station at 6:30!!! I must say I was a bit tense till 5:55 ... I had hope we'd make it .... then after that ... well ... it was too late wasn't it ? So we had to think of solutions ya3ni ... no use crying over spilt milk :-D Roora and Doshar kept apologising but wAllahi I wasn't upset walla 7aagah ... just wanted to make sure I got a train back to Alex that night coz I had work the next day and so that mama doesn't worry .... they were so sweet really ... and wanted to make sure I reached safely back to Alex ... el7amduliah I managed to get a place on the 7:00 train ... and by 9:30 I was back home ....

What can I say girls? ... it was awesome meeting you ... you were all amazing....can't thank you enough for your hospitality ... would love to see you all again some time soon....

I'm back... again :-D

2006-02-05T23:34:00.000+02:00

I've been wanting to write this post for quite a while ... it's been ages !!!
I got back on Cairo Wednesday night... had to prepare the next day's lesson.... then went back to Cairo again on Friday !!! Actually it was to visit my little bro at his military training camp... sort of on the outskirts of Cairo ... el7amdulilah he's ok ... as "ok" as he can be in one of those camps I mean ... el7amdulilah .... there was no visit this week .... but he calls whenever he can to tell us he's doing fine ....

Then the next couple of days I was "seeing someone" .... someone who was thinking we might "click" ... but we didn't....this is what I wrote the day I saw him

"Met someone new today ... a joint friend was setting us up... she knows what we both see and want in a partner... and she felt that we might be suitable for each other... so she decided to set us up... he came from Cairo to see me ... took the train at 9 to get to Alex and stay a while with us at a cafe then went back to Cairo ... don't know what to say about him... can't say there was anything bad about him ... but I wasn't drawn to him in any way ...the guy is quite an impressive guy .... but I wasn't impressed... at all... it was ok though... I mean we talked ... serious stuff... and joked around a little ... he has a good sense of humour... quite sarcastic but I like it... but ... I didn't feel anything at all... I know I'm not expected to feel anything ... but I mean you know when you sometimes meet someone and you feel like you're interested to know more about that person? When you feel you'd like to see that person again? Didn't get those feelings... but at the same time didn't get any "negative" feelings... Whatever !! Guess we just didn't click .... will probably never see him again in my life... let's just say he was a nice guy I met one day by chance...."

Then I went down with a reeeeaaallly bad flu .... and couldn't take any days off from work.. it was awful...still am not very well but el7amdulilah much better.... want to read all my friends' blogs ... and catch up with everyone .... and of course write about my "trip to Cairo" !!!!!

Back to Alex !

2006-01-25T21:42:00.000+02:00

And soooooooooooo ... where was I? You guessed!! CAIRO!! Spent the day there and met Doshar, Roora, Wonderer, and Nerro!! Girls... you were wonderful ... especially Doshar who picked me up from the station and drove me around ...

Too tired to write now... have work tomorrow... all I wanted to say is I reaaaaaaaaallllllly enjoyed my day... more tomorrow inshAllah...

Nightie night :-)

2006-01-23T01:40:00.000+02:00

Thank God everything is fine ...It's just that I'm too distracted to write now... too many things going on... not getting enough sleep... focusing on too many things at the same time... and trying to stay the "calm me" .... el7amdulilah ...

Sweet

2006-01-23T01:18:00.000+02:00

Am also amazed how people can be so sweet !!! Wonderer read my last couple of posts (if I may call them that!) and she felt something was wrong ... so she immediately called me.... thanks Wonderer for your sweet call... it made my day :)
Thank you all my other blogger friends for being so sweet as well :)

2006-01-16T20:14:00.000+02:00

Am amazed how people can sometimes be so selfish and self-centered... I don't think they feel that that's what they're being... but it hurts me...

Stressed out

2006-01-16T01:38:00.000+02:00

Allahomma eghfer lee thanbi wa ath-heb ghaitha qalbi wa ajerni min alshaitan

Teaching? Guiding? Helping?

2006-01-13T22:14:00.000+02:00

I just commented on a post about teaching on Doshar's blog ... and it triggered me to write a post I've been postponing for so long...

I've been teaching English as a Second Language since 2001... started as something part time ... a hobby... but then I found I enjoyed it sooooo much I wouldn't give it up....

But what is teaching exactly? Do you instruct? Do you train your students? Do you lead and show them the way? Do you help them learn? But what does "learn" mean? Does it mean "to be taught"? Or "to gain knowledge"?

So many questions... and so many answers... depends on who you're teaching and what you're teaching....

My experience has taught me (and what does "taught" mean again? ;-) that to make students learn English ... you must make them first "want to learn" ... and know why they want to learn... then guide them through it... help them acquire what they want to ... not "give it" to them ... elicit it from them... bring it out from them.... they must feel that you are there to guide them... but to learn... they must make an effort .... and enjoy that effort... and then feel the "thrill" of being able to use a language they once knew nothing of !!!

It isn't as blissful as I make it sound.. but I do try to do what I can to make it that way... I don't always succeed but there are many times that I do...

But it isn't all about acquiring knowledge... there's the discipline part too ... and that's the tricky part ... especially with adults... I always put myself in their shoes... what would I feel like if I were sitting there?

I started teaching when I was 22... most of my students were older than me... I'd have men in their early forties ... or housewives in their late thirties... people who didn't have a chance to learn English.... and I realised it's all about "respect" .... show them respect ... it reflects..... they give you respect... the point is I genuinely respected them... I appreciated the fact that they were coming to learn... sometimes with the younger ones ... the ones around my age or a little younger... I'd have a few problems ... but nothing really major.... I gradually learnt when to have to stop at a problem and when to let it go....

Now I'm part of a sort of "crash course" programme... I go from 9-3 with 2 half hour breaks .... by the end of the day I'm quite exhausted and so are my students (I have 16) .... a couple of weeks ago... one of my relatively good students almost dozed in class... it was around 2:30 ... and I saw his head nod... I chose not to look in his direction and pretend I hadn't seen him ... I don't think anyone felt that I'd seen him.... at the end of class I found him waiting for me at the door ... telling me he's really sorry for what happened in class 30 mins ago ... I couldn't believe it .... here was this 28 year old gentleman ... owning up to me... out of respect... now had I embarrassed him ... would he have felt that way?
Not all cases are the same ... and I sometimes deliberately ask students who are always not paying attention to join in something we're discussing... but like I said ... you eventually learn when to stop and when to let go....

In all I think I enjoy teaching... I don't know how I'd feel if I were teaching something like Physics for example... but language teaching suits me just fine....
I think to teach you must keep in mind that you're helping people acquire and gain something they don't know... you guide them and show them the way... and try to make them value what you're leading them to....

Eid, rain, bubbles and visits...

2006-01-13T18:27:00.000+02:00

So it's been raining all throughout Eid !!!! But would I let that trap me at home ? No No No never !!! Not that we really went "out" ... mostly we were visiting but it was fun anyway....

The first day in the morning there was the "meat mess" ... was quite fun actually dividing the meat into packets for the poor... packets for friends and relatives... then packets for us ... then the distributing.... thank God we managed to finish... when that was over we got dressed quickly and off to my Grandma... big bro and his little family were there too... we barbecued lamb ribs, minced meat(kofta), kebab and chicken ... boy... I ate so much !!! It was raining ...raining ... raining... felt that it stopped raining only to start all over again !!!! but we barbecued on my Grandma's roof in a sheltered placed keda so it was fine... quite cold but fine... and the best part was taking the meat right off the grill onto our mouths ... Yummy :)

Little baby N was there of course... and she was adorable !! I'd bought the soap solution that makes bubbles and brought it with me (I'm crazy about it btw :-D) ... and I blew bubbles for baby N... she loved them and got so excited !!!! wanted to touch them ... I love the way she'd watch them as they fell to the floor... big bro was carrying her and she'd lean down after the bubbles and like talk to them or something!!!! mashAllah she's sooooooooo cute .....

At night it was raining really hard... with lightning and thunder and all that... was a bit scary cuz we felt the building shake a bit!! ... but we waited till it sort of calmed down and went home....

The next day we were invited at my bro's inlaws for lunch... it was fun el7amdulilah ... we had a great time... then at night I had a wedding... never expected to be invited to that wedding .... my colleague's brother was getting married so she invited me! ... I mean I've only known her for a couple of months....but we get along... I was the only one she invited from work...so I sat on a table with the rest of her friends ...was quite nice actually... but I couldn't stay late cuz I was alone...

Yesterday we went to my uncle then my aunt ... was raining and raining on the way .. and really cold too... but I enjoyed it... don't know why I get excited by rain... my friends at Uni used to call me a "psycho" :-D ... the only part I don't like about rain here is that it seems Alex doesn't have a very good drainage system ...so many streets are flooded and it isn't a pretty sight :(

Spent the day at home today... but I might be going out with my mum to buy some stuff now... will be back to read your blogs and start commenting inshAllah ... miss you guys...

Eid Mubarak everyone !!!

2006-01-09T23:20:00.000+02:00

كل عام و أنتم الى الله أقرب

2006-01-07T16:41:00.000+02:00

Haven't been able to blog lately ... well actually it's not really "haven't been able" ... sometimes I'd just have too many other things to do ...and then I'd be too lazy to blog.... just wanted to tell all of my dear bloggers... that I've been trying to read your blogs ... even though I may not comment.... I still do read .....

The past couple of weeks have been a little hectic... el7amdulilah ... nothing really "bad" or anything ... but a little messy....

Work has been getting a little more demanding ... now I'm teaching higher levels that need a little more preparing ...it's sort of a "crash course" so my students have been having some difficulty catching up with all we're doing ... which means extra work from my side to try and help them keep up their standards....

My adorable baby niece is here in Egypt !!!! M (big bro's wife) got here a couple of weeks ago with baby N .... and mashAllah she's amazing begad .... Rabena yebareklohom feeha... so I've been hopping over to their house after work soemtimes and going out with them some other times....

Little bro has been officially admitted to the army for the compulsory military service... I won't start talking about that ... needs a whole post... he's not "in" yet but he should be going in on the 17th ... very depressing... but el7amdulilah ... you never know what is for the best ... anyway ... been spoiling him and trying to make nice food every day and stuff like that ... besides having to help in buying him stuff he needs to take with him for the first 45 days (when he isn't allowed to leave camp)... el7amduliah for everything....

Mama couldn't take being away from us in these circumstances ... she wanted to see little bro before he goes int he army and see if he wants anything etc etc....at first she didn't want to come and leave baba alone on Eid but he told her he would feel better if she did .... wasn't sure she'd be coming till the day she came .... anyway el7amdulilah .. she's here safe and sound.... she made all the "Eid food" for baba before she came and put it in the freezer over there (all the fatah ... salads... boiled meat... grilled meat ... and some raw spiced up meat for him to grill if he wants etc) .... but the point is .. it's not all about food... it's about him being all alone on Eid ... it's never happened before ... there were times it would be me and him in Libya.... and mama with my bros in Egypt.... but all alone ... never ... he sounds fine so far... but I can't help feeling so bad sometimes....

Big bro got here from Saudi the day before yesterday too!!! But he took his family for a little vacation before Eid to relax ... can't wait till they get back.....

Been trying to do all the charity work I want to do ... but I haven't been able to :( ... been busy ... I hate it when that happens ... will try and not make that happen again .... el7amdulilah I've been going to the mosque regulary though...

I don't know if this post is going to make any sense... i won't reread it before posting it ... see if you guys can understand :-P

Don't quit....

2006-01-01T18:27:00.000+02:00

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse,
That You Must Not Quit!

Note: Received this a couple of days ago via email... don't know the author...

Congratulations LouLou :-)

2005-12-24T02:28:00.000+02:00

Just wanted to use some space on my blog to wish you the best in your new life inshAllah :-)

You're one of my favourite bloggers... and I love reading what you write ... even when I sometimes don't agree with some of your views.... I still enjoy your blog ... and have grown to respect the warm, passionate person in you.... God bless you ...

In around a week's time you'll be celebrating the start of a new phase of your life with your beloved K... just wanted to tell you

بارك الله لك، و بارك عليك، و جمع بينكما في خير

Catching up...

2005-12-21T01:22:00.000+02:00

So I haven't posted anything for ten WHOLE days .... I mean I'm not the regular sort of blogger bas ya3ni mesh keda !!!! There is so much happening ... and quite a lot to say ... sometimes I get the urge to write while I'm cooking ... or when I get into bed ... or when I'm coming home in a taxi .... all times when I can't write ....
I haven't even been able to keep up with my blogger friends... I sometimes check a few blogs ... like checking on my friends.... but I don't comment.... just see that they're doing fine and that's it ... like popping your head in your friend's office and waving ... but not really chatting or anything...
So today I decided to catch up with all what you guys have been saying .... then sit and write... but by the time I was done with your blogs... I was too tired to write !!! and it's getting late ... gotta get some sleep...
Nightie night

I thank God...

2005-12-10T23:50:00.000+02:00

For having faith in Him
for giving us the Holy Quran
for being loved
for being able to love
for being able to breathe
for being able to see
for being able to hear
for being able to touch
for being able to taste
for being able to think
for being able to talk
for being able to read
for being able to write
for being able to walk
for being able to run
for being able to smile
for being able to laugh
for being able to sleep
for being able to forgive
for being able to forget
for my good health
for my stable mental and psychological state
for creating me the way I am
for being blessed with wonderful parents
for being blessed with amazing brothers
for my adorable baby niece
for my friends
for being raised in a comfortable atmosphere
for my incredible childhood
for my education
for being able to afford to eat well
for my warm welcoming bed
for being able to appreciate what I have
for the greenery around us
for the sky
for the sea
for the sun
for the moon
for...
for...
for...
neverending list ... I could go on forever...

"And if you would count Allah's favors, you will not be able to number them; most surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. "
(An-nahl : 18)

Take a moment and thank God :-)

Awkward

2005-12-03T21:32:00.000+02:00

Was alone at home today.... little bro left to Cairo last night for the medical check up for the horrible military service....spent the morning lazing around a little then clearing up, then preparing tomorrow's lessons... got carried away with that... then I realised that it's time to go to the mosque....

Reached late... they'd prayed already... and it was so full mashAllah... looked around for an empty space to pray... didn't focus on any faces... found a space and headed straight for it... put down my bag and prayed and prayed and prayed ... oblivious of my surroundings.... finished praying.... Asalaamu3alaikom wa ra7matullah...

Psssst Psssst ....

That was the lady who'd set me up with her son... sitting 2 metres away... waiting for me to finish praying so she could say hello !! Went over to her and she kissed me .... saying that now she has 2 daughters... her daughter... and me....

Awkward awkward situation... didn't know what to say... smiled and said thank you.. and went back to my place....

Update

2005-11-30T23:37:00.000+02:00

Haven't been able to blog lately ... extremely busy, quite stressed ... and trying to adapt ... el7amdulilah...

Quite a lot has been going on... and now I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted !!! And really looking forward to the weekend !!

I started work el7amdulilah ... work hours are from 9 to 3 ... which is really good... but when you're "teaching" for that long ... it can be pretty tiring ... and I haven't been going home at 3 because there's stuff to discuss and go through before I go home ... things to do with books... and attendance sheets... photocopies ... bla bla... inshAllah all this will be sorted out by next week ... and things will go smoothly then :-) My students are OK ... and I've sort of "connected" with them el7amdulilah... and inshAllah we'll be doing loads of work and having fun too ... Taking care of the house has been quite a challenge... cooking at night the day before... remembering to do the laundry before I go out... calling the supermarket to send stuff... and buying my own veggies on my way home... I'm managing el7amdulilah :-)
My feet are the main victims of this job though !!! The first day I wore 5cm heels... then the next day 3cm ... then "flat" ... can't do better than that :-D ... I've had to soak my feet in foot soak to relax!!!! Little bro laughed his head off the other day ... and was like "ageblek maya w mal7 ya si elsayyed ?!" ...

Ahhh ... little bro .... that's another story altogether... he's had to apply for the awful awful compulsory military service... and go for the medical check ups and all that... he might have to quit his job because of that... was hoping he'd be exempted ... but he wasn't ... on the contrary ....they told him that he'd have to serve for 3 years !!! Some people tell us maybe because he works in a University they'll bring it down to 1 year.... I do hope so .... he's been taking it quite well though... hope things shape up in a better way inshAllah .... dad called him the other day... now he was the depressed one... baba is a very sensitive person ... though he tends to hide it... but we know his voice when he's upset... has a certain tone and slight quaver that can bring me to tears... Allah yehawwen 3aleih w 3ala mama too....

I've had to take another decision amidst all this....
I met a lady at the mosque I go to ...and we got friendly and all... then she set me up with her son !!!! Yes... wanted me to marry her son !!!! so the past 2 weeks I've been getting to know him.... discovered he was a nice guy... but not "for me" ... the problem is I felt he was reeaally "into me" ... like interested and enthusiastic... while I was mostly having negative thoughts... people around me kept telling me don't cut it off now... give it more time... but I felt the more time I gave it.. the more he got interested... felt bad to go on that way... and felt bad to bluntly refuse... did a lot of praying "estekhaara" and el7amdulilah ... I feel I've done the right thing... everything is naseeb and I'm sure inshAllah he'll find the "right girl" for him one day....

Lots of other "little" things been happening... friends having problems and calling me to talk....one of our (me and little bro) best friends going back to Canada so been going out with him and his fiance....relatives getting upset that I don't ask about them as frequently as I used to...etc etc....

I am tired....

El7amdulilah for everything... gotta go prepare tomorrow's lessons.... and lunch ;-) .. then sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep .....

Excerpt

2005-11-23T01:02:00.000+02:00

"ن.. والقلم و ما يسطرون"

يقسم الله بحرف و قلم و سطر من الكلمات

ان حرفا واحدا يمكن أن يقود الانسان الى الله

حرف واحد .. لو فكر الانسان في قدرة الله الممثلة في خلق الحروف ، و خلق الكلمات و جعلها رموزا و اشارات ، و جعلها خطوطا تحتوي داخلها على الكون الأكبر ، و تملك القدرة و هي تمشي على الأوراق أن تعبر عن ملايين الصور و الأحلام و الدهشة و الاكتشاف

لو فكر الانسان في ذلك لعرف قدرة الله و آمن

من مذكرات صائم ، أحمد بهجت

Would you take the time?

2005-11-17T01:23:00.000+02:00

Would you take the time to sit and write a nasty comment on someone's blog?

Why would someone do that?!?! To sit and write a worthless, rude comment on a blog?!??! I mean what's the point? What would they get out of it? Self satisfaction.. like snapping at someone they're not too fond of? They don't like the blogger's attitude? Or maybe they don't really think while they're commenting? In any case ... why take the time and go through the process of typing and word verification ... for something like that?!?!?

There is a Hadith which says:

"He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet"

‏

من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فليقل خيرا أو ليصمت

Last month I posted about "Commenting" and why we sometimes don't comment... and the month before that I was "Wondering" why people are so rude while discussing issues on the net... and now I'm asking ...

Why would you take the time to write a nasty comment?!?!?

Note: I was triggered to write this post after reading a couple of mean comments on a friend's blog.

Back to the mosque

2005-11-15T03:21:00.000+02:00

Felt really nice going back to my old mosque after being away for quite a while...seeing all the familiar faces... greeting them .. wishing everyone a blessed year... the spirit was awesome...

We prayed 3esha then sat to listen to the "dars" (lecture)... felt I really missed listening to the Sheikh...what I like about listening to him on a weekly basis is that he constantly reminds us of what we should be doing... even when we seem to relatively drift away... brings us back to shore ... he moves you ... makes you want to do all you can .. and keeps you going... how effortlessly he manages to touch your soul !... and makes you feel "Oh how beautiful the relation between Allah and His creations can be!" he makes you want to please Allah out of respect and love... just like a little child who loves and respects his parents would want to please them !! A unique mixture of love, respect and awe...

"Allahoma a3enna 3ala thekrek wa shokrek wa 7osn 3ebadatek"

Interview

2005-11-14T12:51:00.000+02:00

I'm back !!!! El7amdulilah... I can say it went fine... I'd done my "homework"... read about the Centre...courses they offer... method of teaching ... all that... the guy seemed impressed el7amdulilah ... but what he was really interested in was where I happened to pick up the British accent !!! I mean having not lived in England at all !!! Thanks to the "British School, Benghazi" ... mini England... that's where I picked it up at the age of 5 :-)

They're offering a full time job (9am-4pm) for a period of 3 months as a start and then you can go part time which sounded pretty good to me... I mean considering the fact that I'm currently unemployed...and that most of the offices (Engineering) that I'm applying to are part time (evening)...the pay is quite good too ... so el7amdulilah for everything... I should be getting a call next Saturday to attend a short training course at the Centre... then I'll be ready to go !!!

I'll go and pray "rak3etein shokr lEllah" ... and be back isA :-)

Good news

2005-11-13T18:18:00.000+02:00

Been running around since Ramadan ended dropping my CV in a few places... one of them called today !!!! Yesssssssssssssssss!!!! El7amdulilah... a well known Language Centre (International)... reeeeeeaaaaaally wanted to work there ... my interview is tomorrow inshAllah... can't wait.. it's not like it's final .. but at least I got short listed ...Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!

Still nothing on the "Engineering side" though...Rabena yesahhil ... don't want to give up either career ... want to try and make both work isA...

People around ask me "What is it that you want? Engineering or Teaching English as a Foreign Language?" I answer "Both"(ne2oul eih.. tamma3 ba2a :-D)

"Al7amdulilah alathi bene3mat-tihi tatim olsale7at"

My Element

2005-11-13T11:19:00.000+02:00

Found this at Rain's blog...thought I'd give it a try...

Your Element is Earth

Your power color: yellow

Your energy: balancing

Your season: changing of seasons

Dedicated and responsible, you are a rock to your friends.
You are skilled at working out even the most difficult problems.
Low key and calm, you are happiest when you are around loved ones.
Ambitious and goal oriented, you have long term plans to be successful.

What Element Are You?

Upset

2005-11-11T02:00:00.000+02:00

Little bro is in love and I'm upset... he fell in love with a girl and she got engaged to someone else right after that ... wasn't able to control his feelings... she was what he dreamed of... he fell in love with her for a reason... for all what she was he loved... wasn't easy for him to forget her because she's a colleague of his... so there she is in front of him ... engaged to another man....

"Allahoma ath-heb 3anho alhamm wal7ozn"

Thank you Nerro :-)

2005-11-08T21:26:00.000+02:00

Thank you Nerro for unintentionally introducing me to the world of blogging.... Your's was the first blog I read... I don't really remember how I came across it...but I do remember reading it every day for quite a while.... Then, through you I somehow stumbled on many of the other bloggers I now consider my cyber friends....

Although I'm not a very active blogger, I now love the "blog world" which six months ago, I did not know existed...

So ... once again.. thank you Nerro :-)

G flashbacks

2005-11-07T00:29:00.001+02:00

Summer of '98 : I did my "Summer Training" in one of the respectable Consultancy Companies in Benghazi, Libya.... 7 weeks of going and coming to the Co.... working, learning and chatting with the engineers... I was really young... and so full of energy (still am :-P) ... ambitious, work oriented and verrrrrrrrry social ... made good relations with almost everyone.... especially with one engineer who was partly in charge of my training (5 yrs older than me) .. let's call him G.

Rest of '98 &'99 : Relation with G during the year continued ... used to see him when I dropped by the company to ask about things related to my studies...he enrolled to study Masters at Uni and needed someone who was still an undergraduate to help him get certain things... asked for my help .. glady helped and things went fine for him... we got really friendly and he even got to know my little bro who had just gotten in Uni as well...

Summer of '99 : Did my training again at the same company.... he wasn't in charge of my training but we'd still sometimes chat or he'd show me some work when he had time...

Rest of '99 & 2000 : Kept in touch coz he was studying his Masters .. so we'd see each other at Uni ...

Summer of 2000 : I graduated ... G helped me with getting some stuff ready for the graduation project presentation .. and of course attended ... by that time everyone knew we were friends... he knew baba as well (well ... being an Engineering University Prof.... which engineer didn't know baba !?!!?)

2001 : Didn't really see much of him ... but then I started working at an office .. and he did business with that office a couple of times .. so he'd drop by every now and then .... I guess it was then that we started feeling "differently" for each other... nothing direct or serious ... but I could feel it.. and so could he ... actually he was a very attractive personality (and good looking too...) .... anyway we both pretended there was nothing...

2002 : Was working at a Language Centre that G goes to...now Benghazi is a very small place and you keep running into everyone everywhere... but we were "running" into each other too often...

2003 : Here is where we both couldn't take it anymore ... we were on a very friendly basis by then...and we could see where this was heading .... something which just wouldn't work... for loads of reasons we both knew... so we decided to stay away from each others' ways .... and we did... we'd sometimes see each other by chance but we tried to keep our relation as formal as we could... even heard that he tried to propose to someone (the traditional way) but got turned down :((By that time he'd left the company I did my training at and I'd started working there !!!!) I was almost "cured of him" ....

May 2004 : Started calling me every week at work for 4 weeks in a row ... just asking how I was and if I wanted anything.... didn't know what he was up to... so I went to his office and confronted him...wanted to know what he meant to lead this to... got no specific answer .. so I asked him to please cut off our relation...and we did...completely out of touch since May ... no running into each other.. no emails...no nothing...

Summer of 2004 : I met my ex and we got engaged .... went back to Libya to finish off some work... small country .. so everyone got to know I got engaged.. even people I wasn't in touch with at all ... including G.... called to say congrats... were very formal ....
Haven't heard from him since then ...

Today : Someone "requested" to add me on Yahoo Messenger.... I could guess it was him .. the user name was something that could be him.... I politely declined... like I do when people add me and don't tell me who they are...Then got an email from him .... just saying hello and Happy Eid ... G .... so it was him adding me on yahoo.... thought we said we'd stay away 2 years ago? ... and we have ... why add me and start again? Why send an email ?

I don't know if I'm making any sense ... just that this small email made me get flashbacks ...wanted to let it out...

I love Skype !!

2005-11-06T02:34:00.000+02:00

Worn out and sleepy ... all I want to say is I love Skype !!!!

because little bro and I could chat with my parents on Eid for ages without having to worry about the phone bill...

because I could hear my baby niece chuckle and cry, and chat with big bro and his wife and laugh our heads off like we were sitting together...

and last but not least
because it lessens my parents' feelings of loneliness...

Nightie night

Eid Mubarak...

2005-11-01T22:51:00.000+02:00

اللهم لا تطوي صفحة رمضان الا ساترا عوراتنا، ماحيا سيئاتنا، قابلا توبتنا، مستجيبا لدعواتنا، يا رب، يا مجيب الدعاء لكل من نحبهم من العابدين

Tagged again... Seven

2005-10-31T01:16:00.000+02:00

Tagged by Loulou, Wonderer & Around the clock ... thanks :-)

InshAllah (God willing), I plan to :

1. Start going to Tajweed Quran classes regularly.
2. Do an MSc. in Engineering Project Management.
3. Find my dream jobs. (in progress :-D)
4. Do Omra.
5. Go to the gymn and start "walking" regularly.
6. Eat more veggies.
7. Change my hairstyle.

I can't :

1. Stop believing in God.
2. Control my tears when a loved one is crying in front of me.
3. Pin and fix my veil while talking.
4. Stop buying silver rings.
5. Eat something sweet when I'm reeeeaaalllly hungry.
6. Swim.
7. Stop reading blogs !!!!

I say most often:

1. InshAllah
2. El7amdulilah
3. Ya salaaam
4. Okie dokie
5. Begad ?
6. I mean
7. Mmmmmmmm (different versions of it - long, short, diff .tone etc)

I think everyone I know has been tagged already... but if you haven't done this yet, and are reading this, and feel like it ... you're tagged :-)

Mama's will to learn...

2005-10-30T21:01:00.000+02:00

My mum has never used a "modern day computer" ... the last time she dealt with a computer it was one of those ones with "punch hole cards" back in the US around 30 years ago!!!
but she's always been around us while we're working/surfing the net .. whatever .. and she hears all these terms and expressions we use... lately with all of us in different countries.. connecting has been via the internet... be it emails or voice chat or anything else ... so my dad would be the one sending emails and saying "mama says this and that ... etc" , or signing in chat programmes...but sometimes he'd be at work and mama would want to check on us or send something or whatever and she wouldn't be able to ..till he got back ... so mama could take it no longer... and after only two "2 hour" sessions of sitting teaching her the basics (before I left Libya) ... mama was ready to go !!!!

Now she sort of surfs the net, sends emails, and uses Skype ... she is no professional yet.... (had no idea how to use the mouse, and to her... the keyboard was all jumbled up....being used to the typewriter when she used to work) ... but she insists on trying and learning while she can...
She has been and always will be... an example of "it's never too late to learn"...

Thumbs up Mama ... Go Go Go !!!!

Update: My dad just sent this

"Although mum is doing fine with the net, there is something weird about dealing with the mouse, moving it is by using two fingers only as if it may be a live one and one is afraid of it to wake up from a deep sleep !!"

LOL ... even so ... Go Mama Go !!!!!

Mixed feelings...

2005-10-26T21:52:00.000+02:00

El7amdulilah (Thank God)... here I am in Alex, Egypt... sitting at home ... but which is home? Here or there... in Benghazi, Libya? Where I'm starting a new life or where I spent my whole life? I guess both are "home" for me but each in it's own sense...
Was hard leaving my parents at this time of the year ... during Ramadan and with Eid coming up... but inshAllah, God Willing, it's for the best...am really looking forward to spending this last week of Ramadan here in Alex... have never experienced it before :-)
Met all my old friends in Benghazi... had a nice time ... felt how much I'm loved and missed... while here in Alex my newly made friends were bugging me to come back !!! Old friends... new friends ... lovely...
Was called to start work today (a sort of "on call" job I have here) ... so I went today .. then I had to come and clear the mess little bro has here... the fridge is a disaster !!! and fix iftar to eat ... good thing my mum has left some semi-cooked stuff in the freezer ;-)

Don't know what to say really... just mixed feelings...

Commenting...

2005-10-21T19:51:00.000+02:00

Why do we comment on each others' blogs? Actually what I've been thinking about lately is why sometimes we "don't" comment...

I read quite a number of blogs... there are some I read daily (unless I'm awfully busy... as was the case the past couple of days) and some I check every now and then... I usually comment on the ones I read daily... sometimes I don't really have something to say so I don't write anything...I comment when there's something being discussed that interests me... when the blogger is asking for advice or needs support...for fun..etc..Gradually I've started to feel some bloggers are actually friends... virtual maybe.. but friends nonetheless...

However; there are a few blogs I read every now and then.. yet I NEVER comment!!!! Why? It's like I read them like a magazine or something.. I don't interact... why? Don't they interest me? Obviously they do... otherwise I wouldn't keep coming back would I? So why don't I comment?!?! I don't know if it's just me or if there are other people out there who do the same thing!!!

More on little bro

2005-10-21T00:05:00.000+02:00

Was supposed to be writing more on little bro H... wanted to write so much that day.. was quite filled up with all sorts of emotions...
Don't know where to start though...will just let it flow randomly...

He's one of the few people I can be completely and totally myself with ... I mean never thinking that "maybe if I say this he'll get upset" or any things of that sort... I know that whatever I do or say will never be misunderstood... when I don't agree with him on anything we can have these huge arguments and maybe get annoyed at each other during them ...but never ever hold grudges thank God...

He knows almost everything about me and vice versa... was scared that when he left Libya 2 and a half years ago that our relation would change and we'd drift away but el7amdulilah we didn't ... when I moved to back to Egypt last May and it was only us living in the flat ... we got closer even though we were both verrrrrrrrrrry busy ... maybe now he doesn't have as much time as before... but we always have these "open up" talks every now and then... I remember when a building collapsed last May in Alex... I was really perturbed ... wanted to collect donations.. wanted to visit the people in hospital etc... but I'd just reached Egypt... didn't know anyone yet...didn't have a network... nothing .... he stood by me a lot those few days... helped however he could... I remember standing in the balcony crying with frustration.. and he came out and held me ... was so supportive... el7amdulilah...

My big bro S and his wife M always joke around saying that he's so busy and they hardly get to see him ... and that little baby N doesn't know she has an uncle!!! But when he goes to see them and carries baby N she stops crying and becomes soooo peacefully quiet... one of the times big bro's mother in law saw H carrying baby N .. and she said something like "Eideih feeha 7enneya ... eltaree2a elli shayel beeha N 3omri ma shoft ragel shayel baby keda" ...

One of H's bad habits is utmost forgetfullness... he's a joke when it comes to that.. well he does remember things that are near the top of his priorities list .. but I think he needs to concentrate a little more sometimes...always having fights because of that issue...

I love his sense of humour ... he's so "dammo khaffeef" ... and he has this really funny way of laughing that's so contagious... and his humour is so unpredictable sometimes !!!
I know I can turn to him whenever I need to .. be it for a good serious chat or to have some fun...

I've said so much about him ... do love him a lot... but mind you, he's not an angel... full of flaws ... but then not time for that now is it ;-)

Happy Birthday little bro !!!! :-)

2005-10-16T21:50:00.000+02:00

Doshar just wrote yesterday about her little sis... it so happens that I want to write today about my little brother... coz it's his birthday today !!!! Not so little any more ... 25 years old today ... currently living alone in Egypt while I spend some time with my parents here in Libya...and older bro with his family in Saudi...the funny thing is he'd forgotten it was his birthday ... only cause we called and sent sms's and ecards... he remembered ... sent me a thank you email saying "Hey thanks...wasn't on my mind .. thought it was tomorrow or something..." Hehehehe ... he's hilarious ...him and his friends don't bother with birthdays any more.... here at home we made an "upside down pineapple cake" and pizza... did the family ritual of singing happy birthday to you in English and in Arabic... then I made a fool out of myself to divert my mum's attention so that she doesn't start crying (which she does sometimes after the singing and blowing candles).. it may seem weird to everyone that we do this ritual even when the person isn't around...but we've been doing it on my big bro's birthday ever since he left in '98 ... and little bro .. the past 2 years ... next year my parents will probably do it on my birthday ... which really worries me coz I won't be around to divert my mum's attention from crying ... Rabena yostor...

Was supposed to writing about little bro wasn't I ? drifted off a little ... So much to say about him .. let's just start by saying I am proud of him .. very proud in fact... he's been growing up sp fast... we were really close as kids .. and el7amdulilah still close...now it's a bit different though...when we were little I was the "big one" ...and he wanted to be like me and "do" like me ... now there are loads of times when I want to be like him ... I love the way he never gives up... love the way he has a clear vision of what he wants to do ... love the way he leads a team to do all the work he's been doing lately ... he's part of an organisation of Engineers (yes.. he's an engineer too *sigh*) and he organises workshops,seminars,scientific trips .. etc ... how he gets it all done is beyond me...doing a Masters degree in Electronics & Communications and teaching at the same time at the Uni...mashAllah...There's just this teeny weeny little thing which drives me up the wall... he's soooooooo messy at home and oblivious of the fact !!!! But even then... "Rabena yehdeih we yekhaleeh leena"

To be continued

Miss my adorable baby niece...

2005-10-13T01:14:00.000+02:00

I've known her for only 2 and a half months ... a newborn baby girl born on the 11th of July 2005... so small and tender at the begining... growing so fast mashAllah... was so addicted to her I'd go to see her almost every day at the beginning... by the time she was 2 months old I was actually having a conversation with her !!! I know I'm hallucinating here :-D... at that age she only recognises her mum... but anywayI used to really feel there was this connection between us.. I mean she'd turn her head to where I went ... if I moved away she'd move her head with me .. and even sometimes smile at me and sort of make these baby sounds like she's talking... was once sitting next to her and playing about with her .. then I got busy talking to someone so she started making sounds and was about to cry till I looked back at her... I'd like to believe that this happens with me coz I'm special ;-) .. but I know babies crave attention from anyone .... whatever it is .... I love her like crazy and miss her like crazy...my desktop is a photo of her... screensaver is a slideshow of pics of her... they left to Saudi Arabia last month... will be coming for a visit inshAllah on Eid Al-Adha ... can't wait till then ....
"Rabena yekhaleeha leehom we yebareklohom feeha isA"

Tagged

2005-10-10T20:48:00.001+02:00

I've been tagged by Jane and Roora to do this meme ... "5 Random Things About Me" mmmmmmm let's see how it goes...

1. I'm a middle child .. an only girl...I don't remember ever feeling I wanted a sister ... was so close to my brothers ...especially the younger one (1 yr 9 months difference)... had all of the "girly" things a little girl could have ...AND enjoyed "sometimes" being a tomboy... loved group games with my 2 brothers... as much as I loved being with my friends (some of which I felt were my sisters.. only they didn't live at my house!!)... I just sometimes used to feel a tinge of guilt for thinking that I love my younger bro more than the older one... don't feel that way any more thank God...

2. Learnt a bit of Bengali when my best friend was a Bangladeshi girl... was taking it really seriously with tests and quizzes and all!! I loved the way the letters were "drawn" under the line and not on top...used it as a secret code between us...too bad I've forgotten most of it ... just a few letters,words and how to write my name are what I remember...

3. Used to "picture" the English translation while praying until around high school... was a really unique experience coz I studied Islamic studies at my school in English ... with all the Surahs, Hadiths etc in English...so for me .. praying and reciting would be in Arabic.. visualising in my mind the English translation !!!

4. I LOVE creams,lotions,shower gels,powder... you name it...

5. I studied Civil Engineering because I loved it.. loved the thinking, the calculations.. the designing.. ... the seeing your design "grow" in front of your eyes later... then.. I started teaching English as well .. basically for the same reasons... loved seeing my students "think" how to use the language, then "calculate" and "design" sentences and talk... then let the language "grow" in them ... InshAllah (God Willing) will never give up either career...

Oh and 1 more thing .. it's not really about me... we have this cupbaord we bought from one of our Polish friends around 15 years ago... just realised that to this day we call it the "Polish cupboard" !!!

I'm supposed to tag or "kluk" people to do this ... so all of you on my "Blogs I enjoy" list ... if you've not been tagged already ... you're it !! ;-)

Forgiveness

2005-10-07T17:33:00.000+02:00

Watched a programme today where the guy was talking about forgiveness... especially in Ramadan... he said when one forgives (ya3foo) people who've wronged him it's one of the noblest virtues and a very high level of "humanity"... Allah is of course "Akram" .. more forgiving, generous, kinder ...so He forgives the person who forgives his fellow brothers...

I'm not the type of person who doesn't forgive easily ... I do forgive...and I usually forget... things fade back in my memory and my heart clears... but sometimes I just can't.. things do start to fade.. but I do know deep inside that it's not over yet.. that whenever I think of the matter or the person ...I know I haven't forgiven and that as we say in Egypt "albi lessa shayel" ... this is the case with him and his mother ... Dalulla was telling me the other day that I should try and forgive him and I said I still can't now ... I'm going to try hard this Ramadan... want to resolve this thing once and for all...if Allah with all His Splendour and Might forgives His creations for the millions of times they've wronged him...then the humble me should forgive somebody who once hurt me...

"Allahoma eghfer lee thanbi, wa ath-heb ghaitha qalbi, wa ajerni min alshaitan"

Ramadan Kareeeeeem Everyone :-)

2005-10-04T16:01:00.000+02:00

Currently reading....

2005-10-03T20:51:00.000+02:00

Am currently reading a book called "Women in Islam Versus Women in the Judaeo-Christian TraditionThe Myth and The Reality" By Sherif Abdel Azim ... really simple style.... and what the author wrote in the introduction is so true... here it is

"I would like to emphasize in this introduction that my purpose for this study is not to denigrate Judaism or Christianity. As Muslims, we believe in the divine origins of both. No one can be a Muslim without believing in Moses and Jesus as great prophets of God. My goal is only to vindicate Islam and pay a tribute, long overdue in the West, to the final truthful Message from God to the human race. I would also like to emphasize that I concerned myself only with Doctrine. That is, my concern is, mainly, the position of women in the three religions as it appears in their original sources not as practised by their millions of followers in the world today. Therefore, most of the evidence cited comes from the Quran, the sayings of Prophet Muhammad, the Bible, the Talmud, and the sayings of some of the most influential Church Fathers whose views have contributed immeasurably to defining and shaping Christianity. This interest in the sources relates to the fact that understanding a certain religion from the attitudes and the behaviour of some of its nominal followers is misleading. Many people confuse culture with religion, many others do not know what their religious books are saying, and many others do not even care."

I like this part too...

Ambassador Herman Eilts, in a testimony in front of the committee on Foreign Affairs of the House of Representatives of the United States Congress on June 24th, 1985, said, "The Muslim community of the globe today is in the neighbourhood of one billion. That is an impressive figure. But what to me is equally impressive is that Islam today is the fastest growing monotheistic religion. This is something we have to take into account. Something is right about Islam. It is attracting a good many people."

Doing a search ... I found the book online... for those interested here's the link

Our old, small cricket bat

2005-09-30T02:10:00.000+02:00

So, I'm back with my parents... back to my room... felt nice yesterday having a read before going to bed... I hate reading on bedside lamp light so I always have the main light on when I read before I go to bed... but I'm in bed... and no way am I going to get up to put the light off when I'm done reading... the light switch is quite near the head of my bed... but not near enough to reach by stretching my arm... so what do I do?.... you guessed ....use our good ol' small cricket bat always put handily next to my bed ;-)

Hopeless shopping :-D

2005-09-30T00:33:00.000+02:00

A few days before travelling I had to go and get an "OK" on my ticket...left the airline office and found myself in the middle of a area full of shops...with "SALE" written all over them.. so I say to myself... let's see... maybe find something nice... looked in an uncountable number of clothes shops...loads of clothes...loads of styles...and believe it or not... didn't buy anything !!! Think I got confused...couldn't take it all in...I don't know...seems I really can't shop very well in sales.. unless it's offers on skin care products...THAT I do very well on :-D
Oooops... I did get something ... a pair of slippers for my Dad :-D

Ramadan prayer

2005-09-26T12:06:00.000+03:00

Was at the mosque last Saturday ... and it was awesome el7amdulilah... starting to get into the "Ramadan mood" ... we even prayed Qiyam and Watr (with lovely doaa).... anyway, mostly the sheikh was talking about how to get ready for Ramadan, and about Ramadan itself ..... and he told us to focus a lot these coming days on a certain doaa...

"Allahoma bal-lighna Ramadan"

Start praying everyone :-)
Ramadan Mubarak to y'all

Change of plans

2005-09-25T02:08:00.000+03:00

Have been extreeeeeeeeeeemly busy the past few days ... plans have changed and I'm going to spend part of Ramadan with my parents (was supposed to visit them sometime later).... leaving next Tuesday for like 3 weeks or so....found it was better to spend like half of Ramadan with them, them come back here to spend the rest with my brother... still don't have a permanent job.. so this might be the best time to visit ... might not be able to go later ... got work that starts isA towards the end of October (temporary though) ... and one of the Centres I'm applying to told me a course could be starting, also on the 30th of Oct... so hurry, hurry me tells myself .... just enough time to visit my parents and run back to start work isA....
Still have to buy presents for some people, drop my CV in a couple more places, run a few errands, finish up charity work that is supposed to be done in Ramadan and I won't be here etc... pray for me everyone :-)

Raining in Alex :-)

2005-09-17T19:04:00.000+03:00

I love love love it !!!!!!!! Today it rained .... no, actually it "poured" !!! Haven't seen rain for a few months ... haven't felt it on my hands and face.... haven't smelt the air after it for that significant smell rain always leaves behind .... enjoyed today's rain... El7amdulilah.... Lovely :-)

Still hurts ....

2005-09-14T14:07:00.000+03:00

Yes .. it still does ... not the fact that he left me ... but "how" he left me... I don't think I will ever forget that ... ever.... Thank God I'm emotionally stable now ... 6 months after we broke up ... el7amdulilah ... I know we were not meant to be and that there was no "naseeb" .. and I've handled it ... it was hard to handle it though at the beginning ... why? ... simply cause he suddenly left .. so suddenly turned around... he seemed pre occupied that day ... asked him more than once to tell me what was wrong ... answer : "nothing nothing ... just stressed out .. loads of things on my mind .. work etc".... not like him to not tell me ... in our short engagement .. always confided in me and respected what I had to say... always turned to me in times of stress .... this time he said he just wants to be with me to enjoy our day ... I respected his wish .. didn't ask him again what was wrong... spent the rest of the day together, knowing that he'd tell me when he's ready to speak....ate till we were stuffed and bugged each other... looked in alleys we've never been to for a mosque to pray Asr .... talked about many things... work .... life ... ideas for charity work...memories of when his dad was having bypass heart surgery ... said he hasn't yet seen some of my cousins ... and I haven't seen his uncles... told him there was problem with one of the CDs he'd given me ... so he said he'd come and try and see what's wrong ..... looked at a really nice furniture shop and tried out sofas to see which was the comfiest and softest .... laughed about "made up" words that me and my brothers use and he learnt them.... looked at watches and we each picked what we thought the other would like ... and so on ........... all through it there was something wrong with him ... but he wouldn't say....

Next day his mum called and said weird things which indicated that we had to end it ... too complicated to write here ... not only complicated... contradicting and didn't make any sense ... don't think I can write it ... cause I won't know what to write ..... his mobile was switched off the whole day ... he just turned away and let his mum do the job ... why?

That part still hurts....

Talk to convince (2)

2005-09-14T00:27:00.000+03:00

Another passage I really liked :

An athetist once challenged William Paley to disprove his contention that there was no Supreme Being.Very quietly Paley took out his watch, opened the case, and said: "If I were to tell you that those levers and wheels and springs made themselves and fitted themselves together and started running on their own account, wouldn't you question my intelligence? Of course, you would. But look up at the stars. Every one of them has its perfect appointed course and motion - the earth and planets around the sun, and the whole group pitching along at more than a million miles a day. Each star is another sun with its own group of worlds, rushing on through space like our own solar system. Yet there are no collisions, no disturbance, no confusion. All quiet, efficient, and controlled. Is it easier to believe that they just happened or that Someone made them so?"
"The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking" by Dale Carnegie

Talk to convince

2005-09-08T02:29:00.000+03:00

Want to learn how to be one of "those" succesful speakers ? Want to hold everyone's attention ?

No... no .. this isn't an advertisement :-D ... just that my brother bought one of those used books I never thought I'd find myself reading ... it's called "The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking" by Dale Carnegie.... been reading it for quite a while ... quite interesting .... still haven't had the chance to apply what I've read though.... anyway .... today I started reading Chapter 9 : Making the Talk to Convince ... voila !! ... what a coincidence !! .... with all the online debates around ...

Here are excerpts I liked :

"My way of opening and winning an argument," confided Lincoln,"is to first find a common ground of agreement." Lincoln found it even when he was discussing the highly inflammable subject of slavery,"For the first half hour," declared The Mirror, a neutral paper reporting one of his talks,"his opponents would agree with every word he uttered. From that point he began to lead them off, little by little, until it seemed as if he had got them all into his fold"

"Is it not evident that the speaker who argues with his audience is merely arousing their stubborness, putting them on the defensive, making it well-nigh impossible for them to change their mind? Is it wise to start by saying, "I am going to prove so and so"? Aren't your hearers liable to accept that as a challenge and remark silently, "Let's see you do it"?

"Is it not much more advantageous to begin by stressing something that you and all of your hearers believe, and then to raise some pertinent question that everyone would like to have answered? Then take your audience with you in an earnest search for the answer. While on that search, present the facts as you see them so clearly that they will be lead to accept your conclusions as their own. They will have much more faith in some truth that they have discovered for themselves. " The best argument is that which seems merely an explanation."